I have a Master's Degree from the University of San Francisco in Writing, and an undergraduate degree from Holy Names College in Humanistic Studies. I write a weekly column for a local newspaper, San Francisco Bay View. I also have an Internet Radio Show: Wanda's Picks http://wwww.blogtalkradio.com/wandas-picks
Post responses to two essays and your description essay. Respond to both student essays.
6 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Lauryn Helling February 18, 2010 English 1A Wanda Sabir Descriptive Essay
Garage Sales are the things you cash out for but don't really need. You see the crowd of people in front of the house, make a quick U-turn and park your car right in front. There's not much to a garage sale, and all you're really doing is paying someone for cleaning out their closet, essentially. Like they always say, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I guess that statement holds true for every garage sale. There are those nic-nacs that can be a great gift for your youngest nephew or a cute, vintage jacket for your granddaughter but the quality you're paying for has probably gone down about four points. I once held a garage sale with the help of my older sister at my house when I was thirteen. I planned on setting up at eleven and being ready to start business no later than noon. The sun was out, brighter today than yesterday with a slight breeze that cooled you off every now and then when the scorching sun was too much to handle. Seeing how it was already eleven-thirty, I jumped right out of bed and in in the shower to begin the sale. I was ready in record time and opened shop at twelve-fifteen. We had some customers, relatively elderly, but nonetheless customers. With what was displayed, I didn't think that a seventy-four year old woman would take much interest in old Barbie dolls, homemade bracelets with colors brighter than the sun and shoes with skates hidden underneath. No later than one o'clock I had sold enough bracelets and little sweaters, never worn, to close up shop and bask in my earnings; I didn't of course. Minutes went by which seemed like hours in the crazy heat without any customers. I peeked down the street to see a middle-aged man walking right in my direction and looking over the green bushes to see what we had in stock. He had a worn down blue baseball cap on with a patch of the front that I couldn't make-out, a coat surprisingly, ripped, grungy jeans and dirty, mud-stained Timerbland boots. I sat back and watched him raise one eyebrow as he picked up a toy confused on what it was and what it does. He looks up, ives me a smile and says, "Thanks" as he's about to walk away, but before he does something catches this man's eye. He walks over to my old, off red rolling backpack used in the 5th grade. By the time he got the urge to ask what the price was, my mom was already outside and quickly answered, "Thirty dollars" . . . ten dollars less than what we originally paid for. He looked at all sides of it, picked it up, rolled it up and down the driveway before asking again what the asking price was. He unzipped the main zipper and in big, permanent marker letter it read, 'HELLING', my last name of course. He pointed, complained and put up a good argument of why he wasn't going to pay thirty dollars for another person's name written on the inside. My poor mother gave every reason why he should still make the purchase. She suggested getting red fabric and gluing it over the name to cover it up. After countless minutes of price negotiating, and intense persuading we were able to close the deal at the asking price of thirty dollars. A few more hours went by and my parents thought it'd be best just to cleanup and call it a day. My sister and I packed up our remaining belongings and headed inside. I thanked my mom for helping me make that sale and offered to split some of my earnings with her. She denied me and said that I worked hard today and I deserved every last penny that I received. Garage sales are a tricky business. They offer you entertaining toys and cute clothes but when you get home, how often do you wear that jacket you bought? Where did you misplace that windup toy you were planning on giving away? Some things are just better left on the table and just to look at. The world of buyers will never cease to stop purchasing and the world of sellers will never stop negotiating.
Sabah Said 2 March 2010 Professor Sabir Mon- thurs English 1A
Description Essay Chapter 3 Amusement parks is all about having fun. I enjoy amusement parks like great American and six flags discovery kingdom. When me and my family plan to go to Great America or Six Flags. We plan ahead of time. It would a bunch of us going. We go and have a map of all the fun things he can do or go on like the roller coaster rides which is the best part, it makes me feel free and feel like I’m flying in the air, it makes me feel free to screams my lungs out. Its like relief from negatively and focus on how much fun it could be from air blowing you away. Roller coasters are the feeling of flying. Amusement parks are all about cotton candy stands, arcades, games, competition games, water rides, restaurants, lemonade sand churros stands and so much more. My opinion of amusement parks is once I walk in the park its like a whole different land. All the fun and enjoyment things you can do. We go on water rides from the sliding to splashing and waterfalls makes it a laughing moment which is nice. To funnel cake or churro stands, my favorite things about amusement parks. Also play games, and taking pictures with cartoon characters. Amusement parks are full of great attraction and joy, a wonderful place to get together with family and friends to have good times.
Amusement have a lot of varieties of excitement and rides going on people all around having fun. I enjoy watching the shows they perform, when me and my family go we always look forward to going on rides playing etc. we have a fun time together talking and laughing and enjoying or self. When I think of amusement parks. I think of all play and nothing else., the best part at the end of the day before leaving we go to gift shops and buy souvenirs. Its a lot of nice memories I had a great time, its an adventure I places where your free with nothing but entertainment. I go to six flags and Great America at least once a year, I think about this is my break to a taken away from, school ,work, daily life. As they say you could have a little sometimes. When I go on trips to them parks I go from morning to might to have all the fun and crazy time because its not like I go there everyday. Its once in a while thing to do. Experiencing new things or just experiencing the different events from funny to scary. Amusement parks are the best places to go to enjoy the fun. I love to see the dancing, singing and animal shows. Of the shows where they do tricks its surprising, and a lot of laughs. Amusement parks have so much details and things to do, it’s a great place to go with family and friends. At the same time it is a little pricey to go to an amusement parks which is the low point of it but its worth it because you have fun memories about how I have a great time there. Amusement parks so huge you have so many options to go through and enjoy your self.
Sabah Said 3/2/10 Mon-thurs English 1A Response to Description essay
I thought that Lauryn essay had a lot of details and even experienced the same thing as her topic which is garage sales. Which gives her a better understanding and having a clear sense of what she has to say. She described a lot about what goes on in a garage sale. She did a good job
Sabah Said 3/2/10 Mon-thurs English 1A Response to Description essay
I thought that Lauryn essay had a lot of details and even experienced the same thing as her topic which is garage sales. Which gives her a better understanding and having a clear sense of what she has to say. She described a lot about what goes on in a garage sale. She did a good job
Sabah Said 3/2/10 Mon-thurs English 1A Response to two stories in Chapter 2 Description
I was a Member of the Kung Ful Crew
What did the writer say and what did you think?
1. Essay describes how gang members are and what they do. What the K.F.C group represent which is Kung Ful Crew. Thesis is people trying had to be something their not but they do it anyway to fit in. They want people to see them and think of them ghetto and gang members. Gangs dressing in a certain and have specific hair cuts.
2. “Grilling” means questioning, and opposing means crew is causing attention. Basically want to stand out for people to question them and talk about them. Their being judged as bad people
3. They life style can be described as them living in the ghettoness as they say.
4. I have a diversity of friends. I have nice, honest people that I socialize with.
How did the writer say it?
1. The author didn’t talk about the si-fu and aj-gong as much because K.F.C. was the crew that was the best. Mainly the author wanted to be in K.F.C. and not the other crew.
2. No it is specific, it tells a lot already about hoe K.F.C crew look including the author.
3. The author is talking about the K.F.C. group which he is apart of, so he is talking about what his group has been doing as a crew.
4. The different gang group there is, and how he worked hard to become one of the K.F.C. gang members. Also they represented their selves to the public.
A Promise In Lunch Pail
What did the writer say and what did you think?
1. Basically “promise made” and the “promise kept” was her fathers carried a lunch pail for 36 years, of having a no good job instead of having a career because he never went to college. He promised his four kids that they would never carry a lunch pail that they would go to college. And his oldest daughter which is the author was the first to go to college. He was proud of her.
2. The author’s father mostly dislike about is job was not seeing him as much, not talking about what he does at his job.
3. The father would rather have a career, but he was a job instead because he didn’t get the right education which would lead him to a career.
How did the writer say it?
1.yes the lunch pail an effective symbol of the fathers job, because he took his lunch pail to work with him for 36 years to a job he had to work hard in. he tells his kids that their never going to carry a lunch pail because they will have a good career that they like from going to college.
2. When he says she knows where she from Means she came from her family no matter how good her carry is how far away she is, whatever it is, because he encouraged her through the way to go to school. Even through her dad carried a lunch pail, that was the most important memory she has of him.
Lauryn Helling March 3, 2010 Englsih 1A Wanda Sabir
Response to Descriptive Essay
In response to Sabah's descriptive essay, I thought that she didn't really describe anything specific. She talked about how amusement parks make her feel which is somewhat a description but there's not a whole of of detail that's needed for that. Proof-reading should be done for this essays before handing it in next time. Good effort though.
6 comments:
Lauryn Helling
February 18, 2010
English 1A
Wanda Sabir Descriptive Essay
Garage Sales are the things you cash out for but don't really need. You see the crowd of people in front of the house, make a quick U-turn and park your car right in front. There's not much to a garage sale, and all you're really doing is paying someone for cleaning out their closet, essentially. Like they always say, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I guess that statement holds true for every garage sale. There are those nic-nacs that can be a great gift for your youngest nephew or a cute, vintage jacket for your granddaughter but the quality you're paying for has probably gone down about four points.
I once held a garage sale with the help of my older sister at my house when I was thirteen. I planned on setting up at eleven and being ready to start business no later than noon. The sun was out, brighter today than yesterday with a slight breeze that cooled you off every now and then when the scorching sun was too much to handle. Seeing how it was already eleven-thirty, I jumped right out of bed and in in the shower to begin the sale.
I was ready in record time and opened shop at twelve-fifteen. We had some customers, relatively elderly, but nonetheless customers. With what was displayed, I didn't think that a seventy-four year old woman would take much interest in old Barbie dolls, homemade bracelets with colors brighter than the sun and shoes with skates hidden underneath. No later than one o'clock I had sold enough bracelets and little sweaters, never worn, to close up shop and bask in my earnings; I didn't of course. Minutes went by which seemed like hours in the crazy heat without any customers. I peeked down the street to see a middle-aged man walking right in my direction and looking over the green bushes to see what we had in stock. He had a worn down blue baseball cap on with a patch of the front that I couldn't make-out, a coat surprisingly, ripped, grungy jeans and dirty, mud-stained Timerbland boots. I sat back and watched him raise one eyebrow as he picked up a toy confused on what it was and what it does. He looks up, ives me a smile and says, "Thanks" as he's about to walk away, but before he does something catches this man's eye. He walks over to my old, off red rolling backpack used in the 5th grade. By the time he got the urge to ask what the price was, my mom was already outside and quickly answered, "Thirty dollars" . . . ten dollars less than what we originally paid for. He looked at all sides of it, picked it up, rolled it up and down the driveway before asking again what the asking price was. He unzipped the main zipper and in big, permanent marker letter it read, 'HELLING', my last name of course. He pointed, complained and put up a good argument of why he wasn't going to pay thirty dollars for another person's name written on the inside. My poor mother gave every reason why he should still make the purchase. She suggested getting red fabric and gluing it over the name to cover it up. After countless minutes of price negotiating, and intense persuading we were able to close the deal at the asking price of thirty dollars.
A few more hours went by and my parents thought it'd be best just to cleanup and call it a day. My sister and I packed up our remaining belongings and headed inside. I thanked my mom for helping me make that sale and offered to split some of my earnings with her. She denied me and said that I worked hard today and I deserved every last penny that I received.
Garage sales are a tricky business. They offer you entertaining toys and cute clothes but when you get home, how often do you wear that jacket you bought? Where did you misplace that windup toy you were planning on giving away? Some things are just better left on the table and just to look at. The world of buyers will never cease to stop purchasing and the world of sellers will never stop negotiating.
Sabah Said
2 March 2010
Professor Sabir
Mon- thurs
English 1A
Description Essay Chapter 3
Amusement parks is all about having fun. I enjoy amusement parks like great American and six flags discovery kingdom. When me and my family plan to go to Great America or Six Flags. We plan ahead of time. It would a bunch of us going. We go and have a map of all the fun things he can do or go on like the roller coaster rides which is the best part, it makes me feel free and feel like I’m flying in the air, it makes me feel free to screams my lungs out. Its like relief from negatively and focus on how much fun it could be from air blowing you away. Roller coasters are the feeling of flying.
Amusement parks are all about cotton candy stands, arcades, games, competition games, water rides, restaurants, lemonade sand churros stands and so much more. My opinion of amusement parks is once I walk in the park its like a whole different land. All the fun and enjoyment things you can do. We go on water rides from the sliding to splashing and waterfalls makes it a laughing moment which is nice. To funnel cake or churro stands, my favorite things about amusement parks. Also play games, and taking pictures with cartoon characters. Amusement parks are full of great attraction and joy, a wonderful place to get together with family and friends to have good times.
Amusement have a lot of varieties of excitement and rides going on people all around having fun. I enjoy watching the shows they perform, when me and my family go we always look forward to going on rides playing etc. we have a fun time together talking and laughing and enjoying or self. When I think of amusement parks. I think of all play and nothing else., the best part at the end of the day before leaving we go to gift shops and buy souvenirs. Its a lot of nice memories I had a great time, its an adventure I places where your free with nothing but entertainment. I go to six flags and Great America at least once a year, I think about this is my break to a taken away from, school ,work, daily life. As they say you could have a little sometimes.
When I go on trips to them parks I go from morning to might to have all the fun and crazy time because its not like I go there everyday. Its once in a while thing to do. Experiencing new things or just experiencing the different events from funny to scary. Amusement parks are the best places to go to enjoy the fun. I love to see the dancing, singing and animal shows. Of the shows where they do tricks its surprising, and a lot of laughs.
Amusement parks have so much details and things to do, it’s a great place to go with family and friends. At the same time it is a little pricey to go to an amusement parks which is the low point of it but its worth it because you have fun memories about how I have a great time there. Amusement parks so huge you have so many options to go through and enjoy your self.
Sabah Said
3/2/10
Mon-thurs
English 1A
Response to Description essay
I thought that Lauryn essay had a lot of details and even experienced the same thing as her topic which is garage sales. Which gives her a better understanding and having a clear sense of what she has to say. She described a lot about what goes on in a garage sale. She did a good job
Sabah Said
3/2/10
Mon-thurs
English 1A
Response to Description essay
I thought that Lauryn essay had a lot of details and even experienced the same thing as her topic which is garage sales. Which gives her a better understanding and having a clear sense of what she has to say. She described a lot about what goes on in a garage sale. She did a good job
Sabah Said
3/2/10
Mon-thurs
English 1A
Response to two stories in Chapter 2 Description
I was a Member of the Kung Ful Crew
What did the writer say and what did you think?
1. Essay describes how gang members are and what they do. What the K.F.C group represent which is Kung Ful Crew. Thesis is people trying had to be something their not but they do it anyway to fit in. They want people to see them and think of them ghetto and gang members. Gangs dressing in a certain and have specific hair cuts.
2. “Grilling” means questioning, and opposing means crew is causing attention. Basically want to stand out for people to question them and talk about them. Their being judged as bad people
3. They life style can be described as them living in the ghettoness as they say.
4. I have a diversity of friends. I have nice, honest people that I socialize with.
How did the writer say it?
1. The author didn’t talk about the si-fu and aj-gong as much because K.F.C. was the crew that was the best. Mainly the author wanted to be in K.F.C. and not the other crew.
2. No it is specific, it tells a lot already about hoe K.F.C crew look including the author.
3. The author is talking about the K.F.C. group which he is apart of, so he is talking about what his group has been doing as a crew.
4. The different gang group there is, and how he worked hard to become one of the K.F.C. gang members. Also they represented their selves to the public.
A Promise In Lunch Pail
What did the writer say and what did you think?
1. Basically “promise made” and the “promise kept” was her fathers carried a lunch pail for 36 years, of having a no good job instead of having a career because he never went to college. He promised his four kids that they would never carry a lunch pail that they would go to college. And his oldest daughter which is the author was the first to go to college. He was proud of her.
2. The author’s father mostly dislike about is job was not seeing him as much, not talking about what he does at his job.
3. The father would rather have a career, but he was a job instead because he didn’t get the right education which would lead him to a career.
How did the writer say it?
1.yes the lunch pail an effective symbol of the fathers job, because he took his lunch pail to work with him for 36 years to a job he had to work hard in. he tells his kids that their never going to carry a lunch pail because they will have a good career that they like from going to college.
2. When he says she knows where she from Means she came from her family no matter how good her carry is how far away she is, whatever it is, because he encouraged her through the way to go to school. Even through her dad carried a lunch pail, that was the most important memory she has of him.
Lauryn Helling
March 3, 2010
Englsih 1A
Wanda Sabir
Response to Descriptive Essay
In response to Sabah's descriptive essay, I thought that she didn't really describe anything specific. She talked about how amusement parks make her feel which is somewhat a description but there's not a whole of of detail that's needed for that. Proof-reading should be done for this essays before handing it in next time. Good effort though.
Post a Comment